Sunday, 16 May 2010

The Innocence of Youngsters

This is something I received in one of those emails from somebody who cobbles together some interesting (to me) bits and bobs from wherever they find them. I hope the following extracts make you smile.

Charity shop bookshops are always an enormous source of pleasure and enjoyment for me and I guess I probably spend (at least) 77p a week on them.

One I picked up this week called 'The Facts of Love' had me laughing so much I nearly fell off my chair.

Full of pictures and statements from children on the subject of love, it is unadulterated pleasure.

Here are a few of my favourites:

To have a baby you have to make love to someone who doesn't mind. Marianne. Aged 9

If you don't want babies you should practice contradiction. Lynne, aged 9.

I nearly know how to have babies but we dont do it till next term. Frances, aged 7.

Jesus was born with a yellow frill round his head like his mother. Jeffrey, aged 5.

I don't know how a baby gets there and I think Id rather be serprized. Claire, aged 8.

If you put a man and a woman in a bed together one of them will have a baby. Paul, aged 6

Have a lovely day!


Elisabeth said...

These are hilarious. Thanks for reminding us of the innocence and cleverness of children.

Star said...

Hilarious Philip! Just hilarious and so innocent.
Now I've just read Elisabeth's comment and seen that she put almost the same thing as me.
My mother, who was Dutch, used to watch with awe, all the nice programmes with Armand and Michaela Denis. Do you remember them? They did some lovely nature programmes. Afterwards, my mother turned to me and said, 'Isn't it amazing how they can photograph all those little orgasms in the sea?"!!!
Most of the time her English was perfect, but just occasionally she made a little slip...
Blessings, Star

Argent said...

Out of the mouths of babes, as they say. One of my favorite sayings came from a friend's child. My friend had told her to tidy up her room. She went in, shut the door and sometime later emerged in tears. "I know there's no God." she cried. "Oh?" said her mother, "Why's that then?" "Because," declared the child, "if there was a God, he would have made me a tiody person."

The Bug said...

I've been a contradiction all my life - that must be why I don't have kids LOL!

PhilipH said...

Elisabeth: Thank you. From the mouths of babes ... Honesty, mirth and simple truths.

Stella: Oh yes! I remember them well. And your Mother's malapropism is exquisitely funny; or was it, I wonder, a Freudian slip? Just joking.;-)

Silver: Another little gem! I just LOVE the programme on tv called *Outnumbered* about a couple with three children - the youngest of whom is a charmer: Ramona Marquez, now aged 9. She has, it seems, come up with some great 'ad libs' during the three series so far. It is by far the funniest programme for yonks!

Dana: Oooh, you ARE awful, as the much-loved Dick Emery would say: but I love you!

Land of shimp said...

The little girl suggesting that you practice contradiction is closer to right than wrong, I suppose.

"Let's, shall we?"

"Let's not."

"Do you feel like..."

"Good God, no."

It could be a viable plan ;-)

PhilipH said...

You're not wrong, Alane. Could be a tad frustrating for at least ONE of the two involved... ;-)

the walking man said...

I smiled

Pauline said...

if only adults could keep their childhood wisdom - make love to someone who doesn't mind, practice contradiction, and always be agreeable to serprizes! Thanks for the smile.

willow said...

Thanks for the giggles! I stop by my Good Will store every Friday afternoon and browse the large book section. I've found quite a few treasures.

PhilipH said...

Mark: thanks for the smile, but why have you just packed it all in and left your blog lost for words?

Pauline: Good to read your comment and thanks for popping in.

Willow: Most of my books I buy from Amazon and they all end up at one of the three charity shops in Kelso! Maybe some of them end up on Amazon again! At one penny each, plus £2.75 postage. What goes around know the rest.

Jo said...

Philip, omigawd, thank you...! You just made my day. I love, love, love it...!

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