Sunday, 23 May 2010

The Absent-minded Circuit Judge

In the UK, as in other places I guess, we have a system whereby judges travel around the country to hear court cases. They are well-paid and well looked after in their work.

This particular judge had to travel from London to a county court some many miles away. He was chauffeured to court along with his trusty clerk.

Arriving at the county court he settled into his chambers and suddenly realised he had completely forgotten to bring with him the main 'brief' of the case he was about to try.

He called his clerk and said: "I've forgotten the brief! What the devil can I do?"

"Fax it up Sir." said his clerk.

"Yes, it does rather ..." muttered the judge.

Sunday, 16 May 2010

The Innocence of Youngsters

This is something I received in one of those emails from somebody who cobbles together some interesting (to me) bits and bobs from wherever they find them. I hope the following extracts make you smile.

Charity shop bookshops are always an enormous source of pleasure and enjoyment for me and I guess I probably spend (at least) 77p a week on them.

One I picked up this week called 'The Facts of Love' had me laughing so much I nearly fell off my chair.

Full of pictures and statements from children on the subject of love, it is unadulterated pleasure.

Here are a few of my favourites:

To have a baby you have to make love to someone who doesn't mind. Marianne. Aged 9

If you don't want babies you should practice contradiction. Lynne, aged 9.

I nearly know how to have babies but we dont do it till next term. Frances, aged 7.

Jesus was born with a yellow frill round his head like his mother. Jeffrey, aged 5.

I don't know how a baby gets there and I think Id rather be serprized. Claire, aged 8.

If you put a man and a woman in a bed together one of them will have a baby. Paul, aged 6

Have a lovely day!

Sunday, 9 May 2010

The Sort of Stroke Flossie did NOT Want!

One of my neighbours, Louise, went to Canada and New Zealand over a year ago to work as a volunteer on organic farms. Her lovely Border Collie, Flossie, was taken care of by another neighbour, Alice. Alice still looks after Flossie as Louise is not returning to Mellerstain. Very recently poor Flossie suffered a stroke. She was quite poorly. Today I went to see her and was really happy to find that she has recovered remarkably well. Dear Flossie is quite old, around 13 years. That's around 100 or so in human terms I think. Alice and I went for a short walk with Flossie and you can see in this video how well Flossie is right now. I hope she continues to stay as sprightly as possible but I think she does not have too long left to enjoy the freedom of Mellerstain. A lovely animal. We love her very dearly.

I hope to have quite a few more gentle walks with Flossie and to give her the kind of gentle strokes she enjoys.

Sunday, 2 May 2010

A Much Happier Day Today

Bright and cheery day today, Sunday 2nd May 2010. Good news about my ballroom dance teacher, Patricia Stinton, who is back in her own home today. The doctors at Mayday hospital said she could go home yesterday but will need outside help for the next few weeks whilst she recovers fully from her recent injury. I still worry about her though.

She is such an independent-minded lady and insists she will be perfectly OK on her own ... but at nigh on eighty? With a hip still on the mend from a fracture? Hmm ... Still, I shall be keeping in touch daily via the telephone. She also has one of the necklace alarm gadgets which will alert somebody locally should she have another fall.

Sunny and cheerful weather today. Really makes one a lot happier. Hope you are all doing well.